Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Fear of Failure...or Success?

For those of you that may not know, I work full time as a commercial loan officer. I dread coming to work every day and wish that I could be doing what I love. I know I shouldn’t complain because there are plenty of people out there that don’t have jobs or are less fortunate but why can’t I do what I love and make a living at it? Or maybe I can. I read all over the web successful business people saying just do what you love and the money will follow. I read my favorite quote from the amazing Steve Jobs over and over:
“You've got to find what you love, and that is as true for work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work, and the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking, and don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it, and like any great relationship it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking. Don't settle.”
(You can read the full speech here:

So I've found what I what?  It seems so much easier said than done. I can read a million quotes that tell me to do what I love but for some reason my stubborn self won’t listen. So I sit back and think about all the things I’d love to be doing and do nothing.

My head is my worst enemy. It has thoughts that make me doubt myself and my abilities to be a photographer. It started with me thinking, if I can book 10 weddings I’ll think about quitting my day job…booked 12 this year. If I can get 200 fans on facebook I’ll seriously think about quitting…up to 343 now. I need to redo my logo and my branding and then I can think about going full time….I need to book 20 weddings for 2011 and then I can quit…the list goes on and on and my mind keeps going and going….and the bottom line is that I’m scared.

Fear. That four letter word. I let fear take so much power over me. (It took lots of courage just to publish this post and not worry about how silly it might make me seem or what people might think about me)  It’s easy to say just trust in God and everything will work out. Not so easy to do. Anyone out there have any advice, ideas, thoughts?

I’m also not used to being so open with myself, especially out on the web but I figured I’ve got to start putting myself out there sometime. So here goes. Thanks for reading.

By the way…I’m having a baby…in 20 days. I’m so excited to see him and hold him I can’t even explain it. It’s amazing to me that I will be able to love another child as much as I love Adriano. Parenthood is such an amazing gift. I’m a lucky girl.

And because I feel like every post should have a's one from a wedding I shot last Friday.  Enjoy!


Tara Ramirez- CMbT said...

I think you are such a great photographer! I always look at your photos to inspire me to shoot. I wish I was half as good as you are. I would totally do it if I were you. You are so talented! Do what makes you happy. It will pay the bills!

Nichole Contente said...

If I were you, I would choose photography so you can stay home with your babies :)I also have a blog and I never thought anyone read it. I have posted about my fails as a mother and friend on there and then freaked out a bit when some mothers from my sons school came up to me and said "I love your blog Nichole". I about died. But then I realized that writing makes me feel better and it's ok if people know a portion of me.

Kristin said...

WOW - ever look for a sign? I ask for signs all the time, and while I work at a Credit Union as a loan officer my dream is to be a full time photographer. After 6 years with the company, I am turning in my notice tomorrow. I have been so scared and nervous about this decision but I have to do what makes me happy = photography. This post just re-assured me everything will be ok. Stay at home. Do what you love. We only live once. Make it count.

Jessica Borges said...

Love Your post!!! And as you already know your and amazing and i mean amazing photographer! Do what you trully love and what makes you happy! I can tell when your shooting photos you honestly do it because you LOVE it!!! I mean who else is 8mo preggo shooting wedding pics in 90+ degree weather!!!...Trust me i have just a few more classes to finish but after having Jaxson he's what makes me Happy & Smile everyday and so do the other 2 little joys i babysit! and yes im gonna take my
classes and finish but right now im loving every minute i can with him! Dont let a day pass where your gonna wish you woulda did something a long time ago that you could do now!!! I Love You Very Much! XoXo...have Faith and Remember having faith makes things possible not easy!!!

tessa said...

I think you should try it out! You have enough experience in the financial/dairy world that you can always go back to that if you need to. There are always allied industry jobs looking for dedicated people like you. Think about how much more time you will have to market yourself if you quit...I don't doubt you will capitalize on more opportunities as they arise.

Then maybe you can help me find my dream job!! ;-)

Mary (Avila) Finley said...

Raquel you truly are an amazing photographer and I know you will one day find the ability to leave your day job to pursue what you truly love and are equally as good at! Thanks for sharing, It is much easier said than done but remember you can never reap the rewards without taking the risk. If you hate going to work everyday but LOVE your photography then I say follow your heart.... when you are ready :)

can't wait to see pics from the wedding, no rush I mean you are having a baby in 20 days!! take care of yourself and thank you so much for shooting our wedding so close to your due date along with everything else you have on your plate.
sometimes we are our own worst enemy, don't be so hard on yourself!

talk to you soon! :)